DEFRA: The Euphemism Defence

by Cat Whisperer — on  , 

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One of the warning signs of a failing state bureaucracy is consecutive cabinet ministers, raw sewage in the rivers and the widespread use of fake inclusion and the rise of the euphemism.

  • If you work for a living, bureaucrats like to refer to you as “stakeholders”.
  • If you’re a bureaucrat, you see yourself as “essential management”, when management is but a single skill of half a dozen necessary skills required to run a business.
  • If you’re a bureaucrat and make easily foreseeable cock-ups, we hear them trot out the euphemism of “unintended consequences”.
  • If you’re a stakeholder, mistakes come with life-altering consequences, but for bureaucrats, there is no such equivalence.

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DEFRA have proved that they don’t possess the competence or relevant expertise to write regulations or legislate for the animal boarding sector - But the underlying cause is that they were satisfied with asking a lobbyist controlled Canine and Feline Sector Group but were too institutionally arrogant to contact anyone with any relevant knowledge of our sector.

Without any practical experience of real life or responsibility, bureaucrats have spent generations creating ways to pretend that they have all the skills to do a job that requires practical and real life experience.

When someone is mowing a lawn, assembling a car or nursing a patient, if there’s a problem, there’s no ambiguity about who is responsible, and not a single person in any profession would continue what they were doing, invent a euphemism or pretend that there was no way to foresee the consequences.

The only thing a bureaucrat is required to do is fix problems and then stay out of everyone’s way. If neither of these options are available, I don't want them wandering around looking for more stupid things to do.