Unemployable Bureaucrats

by Cat Whisperer — on  , 

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DEFRA bureaucrats and badly a programmed live chat-bot have two things in common, they don't work and they don’t give a shit about anything.

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"Ex-bureaucrat - can’t do anything - willing to do nothing - needs 6 weeks paid leave, Christmas and weekends off" just means that you’re unsuitable for our sector or any service or non-union job.

I'm sure that bureaucrats view themselves as essential management or system creators and in DEFRA's case wannabe regulation lawmakers. But these are one off creations, the real world requires permanent flexibility.

Everything we do is catered to the individual and evolves for circumstances, care and efficiency. We develop systems from our own experience and empirical observation. We deal with non-standard situations on a daiy basis and can't operate under a rigid rule-based regulatory system that prevents the businesses from providing the services we sell in any way but DEFRA's.

Bureaucrats do not even come close to being employable because they’ve never practiced any of the skills required for regular work - The ability to make independent decisions, acting before being told to act or taking responsibility. Paying attention, working fast, conscientiously and unsupervised. Have the fortitude and stamina to deal with the public, work 7 days a week and never get ill or call in sick - All these requirements lie outside of the bureaucratic consciousness.

We couldn't employ an ex-bureaucrat in our business.

There's only one reason for an ex-bureaucrat to work in our setor is to fulfil the non-productive, unnecessary and non-essential work that DEFRA wrote into our regulations to get a licence.

Our interactions with both DEFRA and local authorities tell us everything we need to know about who they are and how they conduct themselves when anything goes wrong. All of which marks them out as unemployable.

  • We can’t employ sociopaths, pathological liars or people who don’t acknowledge or rectify their mistakes.
  • We need independent people who can think on their feet and take responsibility for their own decisions.
  • We can’t have people working around animals who can't read the situation.
  • We can’t have people working around animals who don’t listen and don’t take their responsibilities seriously.
  • We can’t employ anyone who thinks that making up excuses holds any weight in a workplace.
  • We can’t employ anyone whose work would need to be checked because they can't be trusted to tell the truth.
  • We can’t employ anyone who is not invested 100% in their work and doesn't understand the word "service".
  • We can’t trust people who routinely flip between concealing the truth to lying about everything have any contact with our customers.
  • We can’t employ people whose sole function in life is responsibility avoidance to take responsibility for the animals in our care.
  • We can’t employ people who think finding new ways to push the same piece of paper around is going to get the litter trays washed.
  • We can’t employ people who have no common sense, no foresight and likely have none of the practical skills and dedication to function in a work environment.
  • We can’t employ people who think that delay, prevarication, inaction and foot-dragging are the only solutions to every problem.
  • We can’t afford to employ bureaucrats because they expect to be paid for turning up and want to be paid regardless of the quality of their work.
  • We can’t afford to employ people who expect to take Christmas off and receive six weeks holiday on full pay despite not working for the rest of the year.

The bottom line here is that businesses can’t afford bureaucrats. Period.